I’m just incredibly busy. I’ve been allowing myself to go slow and steady when it comes to my blog/portfolio/putting-my-stuff-out-there. A lot has been going on since I last posted in May (oof). I’m still adjusting to the two jobs. I’m still pulling all-nighters for my scribe-work and am learning what my limits are. I just recently had to drop my 3rd client after she sent me her first round of notes; hooray for breakdowns!
I just had to let myself freak out, took a walk and got some food with my Buttface, then reminded myself that every freelancer will make mistakes, accept too much work, and learn from the experience. It’s a good thing therapists are pretty understanding when it comes to being overwhelmed. She was placed with another scribe and I’m glad I was honest with myself (and her) early on.
I also went through the loss of my Grandad a little over a month ago. It was pretty rough. He was a 90-year-old engineer, suffering a slow-loss-of-self (dementia), and was recently placed in assisted living. He was an extraordinary man who was surrounded by several generations of family. I wish we had more of his stories, but we’re grateful for the ones we have. We’d coaxed a few WWII stories out of him and we discovered he was a fantastic writer. After reading them, I strongly believe being a brat is genetic.
It’s hard to write words that do him justice, but he was a strong, silent, caring man with a glimmer of mischief in his eye. I still get choked up about losing him, but I’m also glad he wasn’t miserable in the facility for too long–in his mind, it was his prison. When they put the board over his grave, my brother said, “He just closed the door to his new workshop.” He might have been quiet, but his presence wasn’t. I love you, Grandad.
It was an exhausting week and ended in another week of being sick, but we were glad to be there for my Granny. She’s managed to stay optimistic and social! I’m so happy she has wonderful people to see and be around every day. She’s not going to run out of steam anytime soon.
Since then, I’ve been trying to fall back into some manner of routine. It’s still a bit rough with my Buttface working overnights, (I miss him tons), but it’s only until life-level-ups happen. Honestly, I’ve been having writing-withdrawal again. Feeling myself rust is a bit unnerving, but I gotta have time to be a little lazy now-and-then! There is a working-balance to this, I know there is! Just gotta keep perfecting the recipe.
Excuse me while I hunt for snacks.